This is the end, hold your breath and count to ten..
The Great Game
AU: Sherlock!Blair and Watson!Dan
Sherlock Holmes is called in to investigate the mysterious disappearence of Manhattan socialite Serena Van Der Woodsen. Never one to stand on ceremony, Holmes takes the liberty of cancelling her partner John Watson’s long planned vacation to bestow upon him the undeniable honour of assisting her with the case.
“What do you mean we can’t see Miss Van Der Woodsen’s records?” she snaps at the bewildered receptionist. “I don’t think you realize who we are.”
“Who she thinks she is, more like,” he interjects quickly. “Look, I’m family. I’m Serena’s brother - well, step brother, technically, which I do mostly try to put out of my mind seeing as we dated pretty seriously-” He is cut off by a sharp prod to his side.
“What are you doing?” she mutters in a low voice only he can hear. “They treat people in here for less serious complexes than that. Do you want to get committed?” She turns back to the receptionist with a smile. “What my friend here means to say is-“
“I suppose if you’re family, I could make an exception, just this once, but if anyone finds out-” The girl glances appraisingly at them one last time as they try their best to look trustworthy. “Wait here,” she says warily before striding away.
“Well, Watson, it looks like your disturbing imagination and involuntary awkwardness has worked its magic.”
“Oh, but the awkwardness was entirely voluntary.”
She peers at him curiously. “I’m listening.”
“You’ve been slacking on research.”
“Isn’t that what I pay you for? Can’t be for that horrid little blog you use to embarrass me on a daily basis.”
“You don’t pay me,” he replies, amused. “And Serena Van Der Woodsen did in fact date her step brother before he became her step brother.”
“Thus upholding the Upper East Side’s incestuous reputation,” she finishes for him. “We should probably question him again. You never can trust a man wearing that much purple. Chuck, wasn’t it?”
“Charles Bass,” he replies, nodding. “Son of Bart the husband of Lily the mother of Serena. What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on that dinner table.”
“How were you so sure that pretending to be him would work?”
“No risk, no reward, Shirley,” he says jovially as she scowls.
“You know I hate it when you call me that.”
“And I hate it when you hijack my plans, but life is full of little annoyances, isn’t it?”
“You should be thanking me,” she states matter-of-factly. “I mean, Rome? With that horrendous girl, whatshername-”
“Vanessa,” he interjects, but she continues as if he hadn’t.
“With her abomination of a wardrobe. For heaven’s sake, why do you insist on being so utterly ordinary?”
“I live for ordinary,” he declares and she scoffs.
“You live for this, John.” She tilts her head, eyes unwavering. “Or else you wouldn’t be here.”
“No,” he mutters under his breath as her attention is diverted by the return of the receptionist. “I wouldn’t.”